The Tale of Sir Growls
by Mu-Nition
Summary: Severus Snape did not have much. But the one thing he knew for sure was that he had always had one friend. This is the tale of Sir Growls, brave protector, loyal, strong and true, and his fight for his friend... which started as a gift on Christmas.


They say children have accidental magic. But it isn't an accident, not really. It never was, and especially not on Christmas Eve.

"A love of a mother is the strongest magic there is," Eileen whispered to her sleeping child. "I may not be much of a witch, but this I can do."

She finished the last stitches, and looked with satisfaction. The teddy bear was a rich brown, with black buttons for eyes, and black leather for the pads of his limbs, black thread made his lips, and a bright brown for the insides of his ears. Money was tight, but just this once, she had managed to scrounge the materials for a gift for her boy.

Looking at him sleep soundly, for the last time in her life Eileen felt nothing but happiness and love as she lowered the bear into his bed. Severus, still asleep, hugged the bear close to him. At that moment she was content with the rightness of the scene.

"Merry Christmas, Severus. He'll protect you when I can't." Her cradling voice enveloping the sleeping child like a second blanket.

Eileen left a lit candle, and then walked to the door. After one last glance at the serene scene in front of her, she sighed and closed the door until just a crack was left open. She went downstairs, leaving Severus alone with his bear, going to try and slow down her husband's drinking.

Every child is special, and every magic unique, but sometimes, just sometimes, something truly exceptional happens. And let you not doubt that that this is one case. In his dreams Severus had someone to protect him, because even at such a tender age, the unfortunate child understood the need. So his bear, ever so careful not to wake the sleeping child, grabbed the blanket and pulled it up until it covered the boy's shoulder and part of his neck.

A contented sigh was the bear's reward, and if teddy bears could smile, surely he would have now. But his mouth was just string, so instead, he snuggled into the child a little more. Their shared warmth was all he could ever want.

* * *

When Severus woke up, he saw his Christmas miracle. A toy of his own. He named him Sir Growls. And he knew that he had one friend that would always be there for him.

Severus never saw Sir Growls move. No one did. But when none looked, the bear sprang into action. He helped clean the room, pull up the blanket, and would mend the clothes. He watched helplessly with his unmoving buttons whenever the big man came, and wished he could growl at him. But his threaded lips could not open, and sometimes magic never happens when anyone is around.

Bruises hurt less when hugging Sir Growls, and the weight on the mind becomes that much lighter. After all, love is the greatest magic there is. Even when it can't always help as much as it should. But on Christmas, even when no presents are shared, it warms the heart in a way that makes everything better.

"I love you Sir Growls." Said the boy in a soft voice.

His tears streamed onto the fur of the bear. Sir Growls did his best to absorb the tears and despair and the rest. Because sometimes even a child knows that things won't turn out for the best. In the end it mattered not, because even if Severus didn't really know, there was someone who cared.

Too old for toys, his father had told. But Sir Growls was never a mere toy when he would ward off the world. The time grew late and later once more. Severus was spent, and went back to his bed. And like every Christmas, for Sir Growls it was special. He did his best to make sure everything was better.

All night he worked, scrubbing the floor clean, smoothing out the clothes and folding them again. Mending tears, shining shoes, reworking the books, and whatever else he could. When the dreams would start he'd rejoin the child in bed, and protect him from nightmares and the chill of winter that crept into them.

When sometimes you wake up and everything seems better, you usually think "I was just tired" or whatever. But sometimes we don't understand that there is magic afoot. With Sir Growls such is always the case. It's been years of protecting his wonderful friend, and he only grew more able with every hug he got.

* * *

At the age of eleven, Severus Snape went to Hogwarts. Everything he had was second hand, except for Sir Growls. He had to bring him, naturally, because even if he didn't really know, a part of him did. As long as his bear was there, everything would be better in the end.

They went to the dungeon, to find a new room. The bed was rich and soft, and they never minded the gloom. Sir Growls was perched on a shelf with the books, and he looked back as other children gave him disdainful looks. But he didn't mind, and neither did the boy. Because with enough magic, there is no such thing as a mere toy.

When the wicked children in his dorm tried to steal, every morning they'd find everything back in place. And when they played cruel tricks on Severus, they'd find they'd been punished, and would never see by whom. For mocking him they would wake with their words scribbled on them. For every bruise they inflicted they woke up with ten. And when he'd wake up holding Sir Growls, they learned to say nothing and give him a wide berth.

But others were not so easy to reach, for Sir Growl's watch would require him close. There were four boys and one girl. The first four meant it, but she never could. When Severus was dreaming, Sir Growls despaired. He tried to help, but there is only so much you could do with care.

At Christmas that year, they were all but alone in the castle. And for the first time in years, Severus took his bear along and walked. They went exploring, finding odd nooks and crannies, secret passages and rooms, fake doors, secret stairs and even a statue of a small bear. An ancient inscription was written in Bearish, "Sir Growls the First, protector, 1088".

"He looks just like I imagine you in my dreams, Sir Growls." The boy said, and held his friend a little bit closer.

They snuck into the kitchen, where the boy ate fish and chips with mushy peas and drank a soft drink. Those bubbles can be magic, in those carefree moments, for the heart of a child. Once again come Christmas, the bear could do his work.

* * *

For the first time in years, Sir Growls was at a loss. There was a bruise he could not mend, and a sadness he couldn't shake off. Severus had been drinking, and hurting so much. "She's married," the boy kept repeating, and for the first time in ages, he hugged his bear towards him.

Like so many times, so many year ago, the proud bear absorbed the tears. Severus stared at his fresh tattoo, which burned at a touch. Sir Growls tried to stop it but for the first time he couldn't. It wasn't just skin that the tattoo was burning. But when Severus slept, holding his bear, Sir Growls fought for him in dreams of monsters, cruelty, and loss. Before they woke, both were battered and bruised, but the demons didn't win this round.

With steel determination, Sir Growls poured all the booze in the bottles down the drain. Severus would not become his father. His childhood would not happen again. When the child woke up, his head pounding, he noticed his room spotless save for empty bottles. He swore off the drink, and looked down at his arm. He swore some more, then put his bear on the shelf. After a short silence, since it's Christmas, he put him back in the bed.

If buttons could shed tears, surely this time they would. Sir Growls felt he failed, and he had tried all he could. Should he have left the child to hurt some more? Did he care too much? What could he have done?

But sometimes Christmas is a magical day. Severus took his bear along to the playground. They swung on the swing, they ran by the river, and after long years, once more they were children, if only for a time. Severus laughed as he returned to the empty house in Spinner's End. He didn't say it, but he was happy to have a friend.

* * *

Sir Growls was ever vigilant, and he had needed to be. The nightmares grew worse, until that fateful Halloween. Battle scarred in the dreams, the bear was a hardened warrior. But Severus broke that day, and the fight grew ever fiercer.

From his post on the shelf, he watched a wizened old man enter the rooms as Severus fitfully slept. The old man looked at Sir Growls, and the buttons seemed to shine. The headmaster smiled sadly at the sleeping man and the bear. He turned away and walked, feeling older.

It was Christmas once more, and the bear couldn't do much more than tuck his friend in. Like so many years ago, he entered the dreams. In the dreams Severus was still a child, and Sir Growls a fierce protector. The monsters swallowed a red haired girl, and his mother and father. Once more he fought with all his might, and the monsters could not reach the young boy, but they stole his happy end.

Sir Growls didn't let the nightmares come true. He grew stronger with each time his protected did too. His hairs still perfectly brown as ever, buttons still new, paws still black leather. He wished he could replace his mouth with something that could move. Because someone should whisper to Severus that it's all right… even if it was a lie, every person deserves to hear it at least once.

He entered the bed, and snuggled. A hand reached and hugged him, pulling him in. One night a year they would share a bed. Severus didn't need to exclaim his love for it to be felt.

A new wave of dreams had covered them both. This time no nightmares had come. Perhaps there was other magic to be done. Severus got a full night of rest, and as he woke he smiled at Sir Growls. No mocking or cruelty or hatred was there. And for the first time in months, happiness enveloped the bear.

* * *

Years went by, with oddities and weirdness abound. But while Severus was not quite happy, perhaps peaceful was enough. Sir Growls had finally made the nightmares go away. And somewhere, the child still stirred.

They spent each Christmas together. Severus would only leave for at most a meal. A part of him knew that his bear was so much more. That beneath that fur there was magic, not just cotton. Sir Growls was still the same deep brown. Each stitch remained in place. Not a blemish in sight. And every year, the magic of the day, when the man was once again a boy taking his bear to play, that little bit of magic in Sir Growls grew. And no one, save perhaps the old man, knew.

For the first time since childhood, that night was different. There were no bad dreams to ward off, no protecting to be done. Sir Growls watched dream Severus start to grow up. For three decades, the bear tried his best, and he got his greatest reward. The dreams, this time, were of a better future. Sir Growls kept his distance in the dream, just giving reassurance to a proud teen.

Because if love is magic, and most surely it is, then when it's returned then it is truly at its greatest. Perhaps in a few years, Sir Growls could retire. He'd like to not need to protect his friend. Just to sit on his perch, and gaze happily from above. Maybe even some children when he was ready for a new watch.

Being a bear, he walked the halls, making sure the children were sleeping. He went to every nook and cranny, secret passages, secret rooms, and even looked at the proud statue of Sir Growls the First. The perfect coat, a sword in paw, a shield on his arm. Just like the dreams when Severus was still so young.

* * *

The year turned out worse. The monsters returned and with them the nightmares, the bruises, and all manner of horrors. Severus was stronger now. Fierce, dedicated, unrelenting, fearless, and most of all strong. In the dreams he grew now into a young man. Sword in hand to match Sir Growls', a wand in the other, and together they fought.

When Christmas Eve came, Severus was called. Sir Growls tidied the room, mended the clothes, organized the cupboard, dusted, scrubbed, ordered… in short did whatever he could. When the young man returned, haunted and haggard, his bear finally relaxed. If his mouth could open, then doubtlessly there would be a sigh of relief.

The man entered the bath, and scrubbed himself clean over and over, and over again. Those black buttons could do nothing but stare. But once he came back into the room, he took his bear, hugged him, and went to bed. The old man came in, and watched the scene. And in his eyes, a wordless apology could be seen.

When the nightmares had passed, Sir Growls got up. If he had bones they'd be weary, but instead he ran off. He went to the kitchens, and made fish and chips. With mushy peas and a fizzy drink, and a pot of tea on the tray. He carefully snuck back into the room. And just this once, he railed at the gloom. He lit a candle, and wrote on a note.

"You'll make it Severus," he scribbled. "You make me feel proud."

Of course it was Bearish, and Severus couldn't read it. But rising from his bed, seeing the tray with his food, the sentiment was shared. And Sir Growls sat at the chair right next to his friend, as the man smiled a knowing smile, because it was Christmas. And wouldn't it be great, if just one time a year, he could pretend it was his best friend who did this for him.

* * *

Severus grew thinner, and hardened himself. Sir Growls knew his dreams, and his anger at the old man grew. The monsters indeed had stolen the happy end. But for him the greatest monster was the one who took it last.

When Christmas finally came, once more they walked around. They sent children to bed (though Sir Growls was hidden), they raced down corridors together, and found new places. This would be one last time where childhood would have some traces. Severus Snape was a proud man, with an impossible mission. He learned from his friend that sometimes, life is just hard that way.

They had tea together, and Severus's smile was sad. This time next year, it would be the two of them against the world. In his dreams, Sir Growls stood strong. Had times been different, so would he all along.

They finally retired to bed. Severus left a candle lit just this once, before he slept like the dead. Sir Growls kept his vigil, and extended his care. He made sure nothing would go wrong. He didn't surrender to despair. And when the time came, for the old man to visit, he sat on his perch, accusing in spirit.

The old man looked tired, his fight nearing the end. He looked at young Severus and all but wept. His many years were visible, nearly an overwhelming burden. Regret marred his features, until it was replaced with some purpose.

"Sir Growls, I presume, you are still keeping watch," said the old man. "I never said it to Severus, and will never be able to, but know that his life is the one thing I truly regret."

Buttons could never look more accusing than they did at the time. The old man walked away, knowing that it was too late to make up for his actions.

* * *

Severus Snape was a proud man. But on that last Christmas, he was so tired. No one knew, no one could, that he was pushed to his limit. Except Sir Growls, of course, with his decades long vigil.

He didn't dream of a future. He didn't dream of monsters anymore. There was nothing left for his nights but being worried to his core. He tried his best to protect the children. But he failed, despite it all, to offer them a haven. Could he have? Could everything be different? Regret was a childish fancy, but just this once he indulged.

Sir Growls looked upon the scene in despair. Hopes of a future had reached disrepair. He watched as his friend made some tea. If buttons could weep, then perhaps Severus would see that none of his toils had gone unappreciated. And that perhaps his joys don't have to be so sophisticated.

One last time, he cleaned the room. Stitched the clothing. Worked with a broom. He scrubbed the floors, refolded the clothes, smoothed all the drapes, ordered the books. He snuck through secret passages, and reached the kitchen. One last fish and chips, one last mushy peas, and a fizzy drink.

When Severus woke up minutes after he returned, for just a short moment, he smiled. For that one moment, you could still see the child that was buried beneath the endless worries and cares that were too much for a man and his bear. For that one moment, Sir Growls was sure, the years of hard work were all worth it. Because even in the darkest of times, there could be found a moment where the sun metaphorically shines.

Years later, Severus now gone, Sir Growls had snuck into a young man's bag. He went back home with him, and found a new friend. When everyone had slept, he snuck in a room. There was a young child sleeping in his bed.

Because on that Christmas there was a need for some magic, and wherever there is a Severus, a Sir Growls is watching.


End file.
